Welcome to the Writer’s Journal!
It’s been a long time since I’ve written one of these posts. It’s actually been a long time since I’ve done any blog posts at all. Even writing has been difficult. It’s all the fault of the pandemic.
I know I’m not the only person, creative or otherwise, who is tired. Tired of the uncertainty and stress of social distancing, staying home all the time, and mask/vaccine debates. It’s all been very wearing on the morale of many people all over the world.
Even if you’re out and about every day, going to work in-person, shopping, and so forth, it’s still in the back of your mind. You wonder if this is the day you’ll be infected with the virus, and how bad it will be. You wonder if you’ll be allowed the medication you need right away, or if you’ll be told to wait until you have to be hospitalized. You’ll worry about paying the bills if you’re out of sick days, or didn’t have any to begin with. Again, you might not feel worried, but the thoughts will linger in the back of your mind.
I have stayed home for the majority of the last year and some months, and have kept my focus on what’s going on in my house and yard instead of what is happening in the world. Still, I feel the same fatigue. I’m tired, of all the same things everyone else is.
I’ve done what I can to combat negative feelings this past year. I’ve doubled down on God time, though I do still miss days far more often than I should. I’ve made sure to take my vitamins and supplements … C, D, and Zinc included. I limit social media time. I get outside in the sun, I make sure I get plenty of sleep, and I do things I enjoy, including reading and the occasional dirt track race. Despite these measures, I’m still feeling run down.
One of the results of this fatigue is that I’m not getting as much done as I used to, including blog posts. I just don’t have the energy, especially if I have had to leave my house or do physical work. I have lots of ideas, which is an improvement, in my opinion, but the follow-through is almost non-existent.
I don’t like this, at all, and I’m working to fix it.
To that end, I’m going to try a new thing. It’s something I’ve thought about before but have never done. I’m going to record some of my blog posts and upload them to my YouTube channel, starting with this one. Technically, I don’t think it will qualify as a podcast, but it might. I’ve seen other people do “podcasts” that did not have guests or a second speaker.
I have other ideas, as well. An idea for a course I could teach, for one. But, since I can’t seem to put one foot in front of the other for very long right now, I’m not going to jump into the other ones. LOL
You might ask why I would do this. You already have balls you have dropped in the last several months, you say, why would you start something new? I don’t know that I have an answer to that, other than this is a new thing I’d like to try. One of the things the pandemic brought home to me is that there are things I have been putting off for one reason or another and that I should give those things a shot. I could be dead tomorrow, and I have spent a very long time isolating myself (even before the lockdowns began but especially since then.) I’m done with it. I’m going to put myself out there and do some of the things I want to do. If I fail, I fail. But, I might not fail … I might succeed beyond my wildest dreams. So, I have to try.
How has the craziness of the last eighteen months affected you?
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Zoe, my heart goes out to you on how down you’ve been regarding the pandemic. But I really applaud you for all the positive things you’ve been doing to keep your life in some semblance of order, healthwise (mental and physical.) Do you think it is only the pandemic that has gotten you down? For instance, the natural disasters we from the U.S. and the rest of the world have been experiencing. Does a constant worry about something like that get you down? I truly admire your commitment to prayer, Zoe. I find it hard to stay on schedule with that myself.
It’s been very difficult for so many people and for a long time I couldn’t complain since about 90% of the time we’re pretty confirmed homebodies. But you do have to get out for some things. Eventually I realized I was breaking down in health mostly because I could not get to the facility where I could do my chosen exercise. I use the therapy water track at a hospital funded and overseen gym and rehab place. Once we were safely vaccinated and COVID cases started going way down we felt like we could go back. During 2020 my hip and back got progressively worse and so it’s not like I refuse to do any other kind of exercise, just not able to. Getting back was deeply disheartening even though I told myself ahead of time (repeatedly,) not to worry about having to start off slow. But just consistently going once a week and not skipping a week no matter how rotten I felt was a milestone…hopefully I’ll start adding twice a week soon. Why am I telling you all this? I really don’t know how this applies to you except to say I understand. My health is what was getting me down the most. Not the isolation. I also take my vitamins and supplements. I’m under a Doctor’s care. I’ve gotten an injection into my hip that did no good whatsoever.
We did have some really nice things happening over the past 6 months. We were able to fly to Oregon in June for our son and now daughter-in-law’s wedding. That was wonderful. Exhausting but wonderful. We ventured out more and were able to see some family for the first time in ages!
Now this new situation is so depressing. Numbers climbing, More fights out there regarding wearing masks and yet the number of cases here in our state is up including deaths. Again. If the Delta variant had not happened, and numbers continued to go down, it was going to take years to get the economy back. There are businesses we’ll never see again. So, now what? I seriously do not believe the general population will stand for another serious lock-down and will just go against any recommendations regardless of evidence they should stay home or always wear a mask. Which will make it worse for many, maybe better for some.
I am frequently worried about the natural disasters, as many people near and dear to me are in the path of hurricanes or fires. Because you probably know people all over the U.S., even the world, some of that concern may be lurking in the back of your mind.
I welcome your posts back in action. And I hope to hear more about abut your YouTube recorded blogs/posts. As far as starting something new when you feel guilty about dropping the ball on other commitments? The world threw all of us for a loop the past year and a half. Starting something new is just the thing to get us enthusiastic about our own lives again, and resounding success or not, can also be the thing to spark that energy to the previous thing with new enthusiasm. I think it works! 🙂
Hi Michelle, Thanks for your comment! <3
I don't know that natural disasters are getting to me so much as the deterioration of freedoms and society. All the rioting and the cancelling of our culture have stressed me. I confess to seeing myself as a patriotic American every bit as much as I'm a believer in Christ. In my mind, they are intertwined, though I'm well aware that not every American is a Christian and not every born-again believer is an American. 🙂
I think I'm still resisting going out quite a bit, partly because of the possibility of mask requirements and being required to show proof of vaccinations, both of which I see as restrictions on my personal freedom and none of anyone else's business. I'm not afraid of getting the cooties, but I dislike confrontation. I suppose you could say I am afraid of that. 😀 Of course, I've gotten used to being at home all the time, and it's hard to fight that inertia. LOL
I wholeheartedly agree with your prediction about additional lockdowns and mandates. This country cannot survive another round, and people are tired of being restricted. I can't seem them submitting again.
I'm very happy to read that you are getting out to exercise and see family. It's so important to do that. <3
Thank you so much for your encouragement and support! <3